[[Disappaearing for 45min-hour to have dinner with Chelsea on her break heehee]]

If I Loved You - Delta Rae

Merimish Status: Broken Up

If I loved you
life would be easy,
there’d be no truth
that I’d be scared of.

I could walk through
every valley
and you’d like me
with all of your love.

But I don’t love you
not like I want to.
I don’t love you
and that makes it hard.

And every morning,
I see how you watch me
and each night I know you feel it
and it just breaks your heart.

(musical break)

You’d make good money
and come home early.
And you’d kiss me,
and hold me each night.

We’d have children,
and they would be so beautiful.
And we’d raise them
and all would be right.

But I don’t love you,
not like you need it.
I don’t love you,
as good as you are.

And when I kiss you,
I know that you can feel it.
And I see it in your eyes,
and it just breaks my heart.

I wish to God
I could change you, Darling,
and make you the one.

Oh, I will always
have these regrets,
and wonder what else
I could have done.

But I will…
‘Cause if I loved you,
I could be happy.
I would make you
the light of my world

I wouldn’t wait, Love,
I’d marry you tomorrow.
And we’d make love,
and I’d be your girl.

But I don’t love you
much as I want to.
I don’t love you,
it would be a lie.

You deserve love
you’re better than a good date,
and you’ll find it
but just not in my eyes.

‘Cause it ain’t here love,
no, it ain’t here love,
it ain’t here love,
and it just breaks my heart.

Youngestmoran has become a distraction

[Hamish sighs, unable to concentrate suddenly. He twists his neck side to stretch and catches a glimpse of a newcomer. His privacy disturbed and his studying unwillingly put on hold until the stranger leaves, he turns his body towards the man and lifts an eyebrow.]

Can I help you?

Open Starter

I’m home. Well, in the city sort of home. Haven’t quite made it out of the airport yet, as I have no transportation and no one is answering their phones. I suppose I could walk from here, but I’d rather not walk alone in the dark.

Ireland was great, if anyone cares. Cold and wet, but great.


“Ah. I see. Hamish, you do know that I would be proud of you, even if you weren’t taking on so many students, right?” John asked, rubbing his son’s shoulder.

Hamish flinches, small, almost unnoticeable, at least he thinks so. “Proud of me?” A laugh almost slips out. Proud? Would he really be proud if he knew the truth? No, of course not. He’s heard the stories of when Father was doing this same things, how it turned out for them. The last thing John would be was proud.

(Source: imnotmyfather)




I left my bag here, before… I left my bag here. I just need to grab it, and I’ll go.

I had Peri take it when she came by this morning. I’ll have the rest of your things packed and delivered soon.

[She stared directly at the table and played with a pencil to distract herself.] I’ll be thorough, so interactions, unless by… unfortunate circumstance, will be avoided.

Oh, she didn’t say…

[For a moment, he simply stands there, taking in everything about her. Her hair was different, a bit shorter, duller color. She was very pale, probably hadn’t eaten since the day prior. And, from the looks of the coloring and lines around her eyes, hadn’t slept since then either. Hamish was very aware that it had nothing to do with how she was taking the break up, and that it was simply how she was without someone caring for her and reminding her, and that made it sting all the more. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he sighs.] 

So, no chance for “just friends” then, mm? [Even he can’t tell if he’s joking.] I suppose this will be our last goodbye, then. I’ll…miss you. Nineteen years of memories is a lot to just drop. Though, for you, I suppose, it will be quite easy, since you were never really attached to any of it anyway. [That was dripping with snark, more than he meant. He was doing his best not to be bitter, he knew how this worked. It’s his parents’ relationship all over again. How funny it is that he got his wish to be more like John than Sherlock. Another sigh as his arms cross over his chest.] 

[[Good evening. Finally remembered how to sign in. 

I know I have threads with therestlessfox, loyalbloggerwhowaits, and the jasperholmes. I’m going to reply to those.

But is anyone else interested in threads? Keep in mind, excluding the Merimish pairing, EVERYTHING has been wiped clean (still working on physically wiping the blog). His attitude, past, etc is all gone. I will be keeping the bits about Dark!Hamish, however.]]




Seeing Hamish coming towards him, John sighed, but he still put his arm around Hamish when his son sat down next to him.”You’re out pretty late. Everything alright, Hal?” he asked, turning to look at him.

Hamish shrugged, letting out a light sigh. “It’s just school,” he lied.

“School’s going alright though? You’re still doing alright in your classes?” John pressed, thinking that Hamish hadn’t had that much trouble in school before. “Talk to me about it, love.”

"It’s fine, I’ve just taken on tutoring a few other kids." Simple enough, easy to believe. Hopefully John wouldn’t press more, because he was getting too tired to keep up the lie.




It’s great to see you, too, Mer. -sighs-

Considering the… What are you doing here, Hamish? 

I left my bag here, before… I left my bag here. I just need to grab it, and I’ll go.